Pages

Showing posts with label baltimore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baltimore. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

Places I Write

 Hello, Avid Readers!

    I hope you had a fun Independence Day celebration. Fireworks are one of my favorite things. The loud bangs and sparkles that follow are so mesmerizing and pretty.


    Today I want to talk about the places I write. I think it's important to know that whether you are a reader and/or a writer, where a story is written has such a huge influence on the story itself. How a writer writes and receives inspiration is as different as the writer themselves. And a lot of that inspiration can be found in the places a writer writes.


    I was lucky enough in my latest move to procure for myself a writing room. This room is where I often like to finally get my words out and onto paper or into my laptop. I do research here on my double screens and type out very, very rough drafts. Then I print those drafts out and scribble at my white L-shaped desk all over the pristine paper. My walls are painted a soft lilac purple with white lace curtains around two adjacent windows and littered with children's drawings and friends' postcards. My desk is butted into the corner between these two windows with my back to the door. A man-guy-made shelf of Jatoba wood is anchored high above the desk and holds precious stuffed Ghibli characters, a Lego bonsai tree, and a Chinese fan. The door blissfully blocks out the thunderous sounds of a busy house. A futon sits opposite the desk, next to the door. This futon has an overstuffed mattress covered in purple sheets and a gray thin quilt. It is my place to relax and another place to sit when my back can't stand the chair any longer. I am conveniently close enough to respond to emergencies within the household, while also being secluded enough to fully focus on my writing.


    

    Sometimes though, I can't retreat to my writing room, so I keep a notebook nearby, often in the depths of the momster purse bag that holds mostly snacks and receipts along with a series of colored pens and mechanical pencils. If the words aren't coming out right, I like to change the color of my pen and try again.


    I have found that if I am writing a tension-driven scene, I tend to write it better in busier public places. I am not a fan of busy. I hate going places on the weekends. I hate traveling during holidays. The whole COVID-pandemic-funtime made that anxiety worse. So far, it is not a crippling fear. I take those feelings and find a corner in the chaos-often at a cafĂ© or coffee shop or bench- and write the scene that needs that tension. For me, it works almost like therapy. I know this is how I feel in this situation and those feelings are the ones I want portrayed in this scene, so I force myself through it. The words flow easier from my head to my pen this way.


    For story ideas, I like to take my children to the park, pool, or some public place with a lot of people. Then I creepily people-watch. Sometimes I am reminded of stories I have read. Sometimes I make up my own stories about what the people are doing and why. With it being summer and all things hot, I have been going to the pool a lot lately. The new Little Mermaid movie was also recently released. But I tend to like darker, sinister stories, so I recall the tales of mermaids from Asian and African countries. See how the ideas start flowing in? So I tucked that little idea away into my ideas box.


    Writers are all different. Some have one location designated for all their writing. Some have no designated place at all. And there are all types of in-betweens. But this is how I like to write. Many of my ideas come from people-watching. Writing tense scenes is often done in public. The majority of my writing is done in my purple gaming chair at my large desk in my purple writing room. Guess what? Purple is my favorite color, just in case you didn't pick up on that. 

    

Where do you like to write, or create, or think? Do you think of your best ideas in the shower? Do they come from your dreams? Are they influenced by the news or current events? Let me know in the comments below! 

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Don't Mess with My Heart

    Yesterday I had to go to the cardiologist again. For the second time, I had a nuclear stress test performed. For the fourth time, a doctor attached a Holter monitor.

    I woke up at 6:30 in the morning so I could begrudgingly chomp on a couple of granola bars before taking my morning medications. Once I did that, all food and drink were prohibited until the physician permitted me to eat. This means that my precious morning coffee and all other caffeine were not allowed. Being a hater of mornings, I went back to bed afterward. My faithful alarm rang at 8:30, and I was, again begrudgingly, awake for the day. Thankfully, the man guy was home "studying," so I took a long shower to wake up. I left the house as the children ate their warm cinnamon oatmeal at the table and talked about what goals they wanted to accomplish for the day. My oldest, 12, ran to me as I opened the car door.

               "Bye, mom. Love you. Good luck." She gave me a quick hug in her awkward, teenager-like manner.

               "Yeah, yeah. Help out with the littles. I should be back around 2, maybe." I gave her a brief peck on the forehead, grateful that she still puts up with my mothering ways.

    Having heart issues that the doctors cannot figure out is not fun. Some doctors have told me: "This is just the way it is for the rest of your life." "I am only prescribing you these medications to make you feel better. I don't think you need them at all." "Sometimes there isn't an answer. Your body just decided to do this." "I wouldn't count on finding a cause or even a solution." "I've seen worse, so you'll be fine." While those might be good enough reasons for some people to "just deal with it," it has not been "good enough" for me.

    In July 2021, I went to the emergency room with reoccurring heart palpitations, chest pains, dizziness, and weakness on my left side. After sticking a footlong cotton swab through my nose to my brain, it was quickly determined through testing and ultrasounds that I was NOT having a heart attack. YAY me! Sound the trumpets! So.... what were the heart attack-like episodes that were progressively getting more frequent and intense?

    Additional testing and ultrasounds ruled out stroke and blood clots - a possibility due to spraining my ankle a few months previously. Vials and vials of blood were drawn. Ultrasounds, EKGs, Echoes, and X-rays were all performed within a few short hours. Oh, and through it all, I was alone (thank you, COVID). With heart attack-like episodes. In a hospital. In a foreign country. Whose language I did not speak at a professional level. Yeah... The good news is that the doctors were fluent in English, but the nurses - not so much.

    On day 2, the doctor confirmed premature ventricular contractions occurring at a rate of 20% along with swelling and inflammation on the left side of my heart. Not clear on his explanation of this diagnosis, I turned to our lovely internet friend, Google. I learned that premature ventricular contractions, or PVCs, are when extra heartbeats are in one of the lower chambers of the heart that interfere with the heart's natural rhythm. Most people who have PVCs don't know it. It feels like a skipped beat or a flutter in the chest - the kind of thing we pass off as too much caffeine or nerves. Typically, when PVCs occur at a rate of 20% or higher, it is due to heart disease or scarring in the heart. Typical recreational stimulants such as drugs, alcohol, and caffeine can also be culprits. These weren't the cause for me. Additional testing commenced. Heart disease was ruled out. Scarring was ruled out - though they did find a small hole in my heart between the top two chambers. I saw the ultrasound and pressure testing with my own two eyes. To this day there is absolutely nothing in any of my medical records about that.

    Anyways, I did a gambit of genetic tests and was asked odd questions like "Are you a bodybuilder?" and "Do you drink a lot of protein shakes?" At the end of day 3, the doctor was completely baffled as to why I suddenly had these PVCs and why they were increasing. Medications to control the arrhythmia and blood pressure were administered and the waiting game started again.

    The medications were able to slow down the PVCs and I was released on day 4 with instructions to follow up in two days. This led to a whole other gambit of tests including Holter monitors, exercise tests, more blood tests, EKGs, and Echoes. I was referred to Rheumatology for possible autoimmune diseases, Fitness Physician for weight loss, and Gynecology for possible perimenopause. Funny thing - I have never heard back from that last one.

    Answers never came and most doctors threw their hands up and told me that I may never have an answer. And that is the life I am living in now. I have been my own advocate by writing down what I observe and when episodes happen. I watch my caffeine intake and monitor my food because I noticed a correlation. I read research papers and recently published studies on 40somethings with PVCs. If I take my medications faithfully, 95% of the time, I am PVC-free.  

    Recently, I moved to a new state and so I must go through the testing gambit again because there is a new doctor and a new cardiologist who are not understanding why a forty-year-old is on such medications with no history of heart problems or heart disease. It is another chance to find answers. And so, here I am. This is the new Zio Holter monitor.

 

            


Monday, May 22, 2023

Well, Hello There

 Tonight, I decided to start this blog, Tara V Writes Life. Writing has always been a passion of mine, but life took it away from me. Well, that's not exactly fair. First, I was too broke and had to work. Then, four little bundles of joy were more important and needed more of my attention than I could spare to write. Those bundles are now fully mobile and fairly self-efficient, so I can steal a few hours a week to write, though I am still broke-just not as broke as I was in my 20s.

At 40 years young, I know a lot about a lot and am still ignorant about more than I care to admit. My passions include writing poems, homeschooling my children, writing short stories, gardening, writing scary stories, learning new things, journaling, crafting, and reading. After years of journaling all my ideas and the issues I have dealt with, I am here to share them with you!

So first up, what is one thing you are passionate about? I want to know what gets your heart racing. When someone else is talking about this, you have to say something.